lies I tell on Facebook #265

In regards to the Maginot Line:

Originally there were plans to make a line of defense out of papier mache penguins (ten meters high--so y'know, not life sized). The Surrealists had figured the penguins would frighten German soldiers (who were known to have recurring nightmares about all things Antarctic) and greatly confound the High Command (ditto). But, the French were like "hey, what do Surrealists know about fortifications" and the rest is history. Luckily, yes, definitely, guys: George C. Scott totally saved their bacon. And then refused the Best Acting Oscar presented to him by De Gaulle.

In my own words, tho' based entirely on the poorly photocopied liner notes of a Scott Walker album and a recipe found on the inside of a Campbell Soup label.

too true

"In today’s struggling economy you need to wear clothes, why don’t you wear these clothes?"

Kindertrauma is selling t-shirts.

Now I'm cheap & fully dressed. But maybe you need a t-shirt with a scary clown on it.

Or you need a laugh.

Either way, it's your move.

when it rains it sizzles

Traffic stopping Spanish bubblegum (!?!) cards of actresses at PCL LinkDump. Sure there's Loren and Bardot, but freakin' Ida Lupino . . .

And at pulpnivora, the steamy headwaters of all this, waits Loretta Young and Ava Gardner as well.

And Jennifer Jones looking like she's way past ready for a girls' night out with Deborah Harry and Lydia Lunch. And like able to set asbestos on fire at 400 paces with a passing glance.

like Easter on Thanksgiving

That greatly missed aggregation of all that's brain-breakingly cool and grandly ironical returns to Earth in its newest incarnation, Chateau Thombeau.

unlaced at any speed

mudd up! serves up a mellow rejoinder to any holiday crazymaking in the form of a great song by a great singer in e x t e n d e d mix.

shadow boxing

Indiscreet Ubiquity is the latest drawing in artist John Borowicz's horror vacui block party.

auditioning for the role of Achilles

If, like me, you harbor the dream of an all-chimp Homeric revue, this fellow (with an appropriate costume change) could be the lynchpin of the cast.

Or if that lead-in confuses you, just let PCL LinkDump explain just how cool clothed chimps are.

looking to read these soon

The Failure by James Greer

Gorgeous East by Robert Girardi

I've seen the movie & I've heard the song

Mimesis from James Greer on Vimeo.

Love Is Stronger Than Witchcraft from James Greer on Vimeo.

The Mole People

A fave old movie from up late watching TV childhood days, The Mole People in its print manifestion on deadilicious.

calling all space cadets

Percy Trout digs out some groovin' old Ideal toy at PCL LinkDump.

13 lets us know the best flying saucers are made of vinyl & have great cover art.

And And AND: Wrong Side of The Art shows multiple right sides of The First Men in the Moon.

Halloween extravaganza

Magic Carpet Burn had made my damn(ed) Halloween several times over. But this old Brach's candy ad, so long ago & so familiar, takes the candy corn prize.

With a Whedonverse proviso, I'm also down with bruddah Nosferatu over at Paco Camino.

Happy Halloween, y'all.

pattern recognition

Slogan at The Boat Lullabies must be: party like it's 1945.

As one can [not-so] plainly hear, that earlier & greatest of Pepsi generations knew how to take a belt (or two or three) and in turn belt it on out, out, out, out, out . . .

All part of what looks to be a cool collection to come.

Meanwhile, if you're planning to dress as Sherlock or Watson, may want to check out this bit of arcana at PCL LinkDump.

gettin' in the spirit

Those Francophone biker-baker luchadores are at it again. A blindfolded esper is just one of several great pages from the Magician directory.

With a eye to disease & contagion, Day Of The Woman picks the top 11 Sickest Flicks (literally).

Allegory of Allergies presents the very thing for your local Haunted House.

And now, ladies & gentlemen, a holiday message from The Shaggs.

in with The In Crowd

No need to be blue.

Not when you're reading one of the world's most awesomest blogs, I'm Learning To Share!

This time 'round, ev'rything from non-peeps to woolies to WalMart to Loudon Wainwright III to Soupy Sales to unsung lyrics of TV theme songs and more.

Those who doubt it need only click.

Honi soit qui mal y pense.

wanna buy a bridge?

Or maybe just some records . . .

Another true confession from a post-punk hick . . .

Vic Mizzy, musical mastermind

What do you say about a composer who wrote the theme to Green Acres *and* the music for The Ghost and Mr. Chicken?

Frankly, I dunno. The dude rocked our worlds with bass harmonicas and fuzztone guitar motifs and now he's gone.

But Magic Carpet Burn takes a step in the right direction with the aforementioned primo Don Knotts comedy.

Around 8:38, dig the creepiest organ music ever . . . (thanks, Vic)


courtesy DonKnottsFan

hearing in pictures

This ad posted at Paco Camino is the sole basis for the new movie, The Audiophile Andy Warhol.

Starring Miley Cyrus as an ohmmeter-wielding Edie Sedgwick and a very bleached Zac Efron as A.W. (Who plays Candy Darling et al. I'll leave to you, the fans . . .)

if I ever join Facebook

Y'know, it was weird.

Kevin McCarthy had just jumped off this produce truck screaming at anyone who could listen about big pod plants and aliens and such. I was unnerved.

But I woke up this morning feeling fresh and alive, and yet very calm (like after a long drifting deep space voyage).

And feeling so thoroughly renewed, I popped out of bed and signed up on Facebook.

Or, for those more familiar with the remake:

Brooke Adams, y'know, points at me and goes, I dunno, "Ahhhhhhhhg!"

So then I point at Brooke and I go "Ahhhhhhhhhg!"

We both go "Ahhhhhhhhg!" a couple more times before we fall to the ground laughing and saying "Dude, we soooo totally rule this planet--yeah!"

(Hope my wife will post this on Facebook . . .)

the silicon musk of Bigfoot justice

A visually inclined friend sent along proof that Bigfoot exists. A cool, if suspiciously closely-cropped, pic of Lindsay Wagner, the Bigster and Lee Majors from the 1970s.

Tho' I do happen to live in a cave and hadn't seen this picture before (not even in old issues of Better Caves and Meadows), I knew the bittersweet truth behind this picture and chose to share it with him (and now the world) though the email quoted below.

To those who cannot bear the weight of truth, I say look away now. No one will think any less of you:

"We can rebuild Bigfoot--we have the technology . . ."

Bionic Bigfoot, the spinoff that never was. Indeed, as a cover, he'd be traveling the country hauling freight in a Peterbilt. He'd be hiding in plain sight, with only children, kindly old folks and the pure at heart recognizing that "Bionic Bigfoot" was more than just a clever CB handle for an "ex-sideshow performer". It was a stamp of justice and abiding love across the land. And in the hearts of those who'd call him friend.

Inspite of a huge advance printing of 10,000 t-shirts bearing a likeness of the truck driving Sasquatch on his CB (and the words, "This is Bionic Bigfoot, c'mon!"), the studio heads did not prove to be such good buddies to the project and ashcanned the whole thing.

Word is that somewhere in some warehouse in LA there are boxes and boxes of those t-shirts and other long-suppressed-then-forgotten merch related to the silicon Sasquatch. Which is a cool legend and all, but I don't think I buy it. I'm going to have to see a picture . . .

(There are also many conspiracy theories associated with this stillborn TV show, one tying into the death--some say assassination--of Dale E[a]rnhardt. But such things are mostly whispered in darkened hallways and go well beyond my personal knowledge or that of my email spellchecker.)

The Yeti sends best regards,
K.